yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
