...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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