How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
