my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
