i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
