Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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