would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
