the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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