i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
