My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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