She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
