I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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