The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize