I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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