You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
