This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize