oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
