nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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