I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize