What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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