The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
do herpes really smell.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
