just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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