Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
