There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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