My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
