He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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