i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
