That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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