Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
