this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
