Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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