Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
