I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize