It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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