What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
