No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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