Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
