Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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