Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
