I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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