don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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