he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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