Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
