apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
