its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
