if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
