I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
