We won't sleep together?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
