I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dear god my vagina.
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