Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I party with great urgency now.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
