Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
