how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
