I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
