i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
