I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
