If i come over, it means nothing
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
