it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
