I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
