Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
