I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
