if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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