We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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