The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
birth control should be required to get into college
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
