oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
