At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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