One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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