Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
